I’m a mother.  I used to be in the military.  I’ve done some pretty gross thing, and haven’t had to deal with any ’weak stomach’ issues.  I’ve cleaned throw-up and held back hair during vomiting sessions without flinching…And yet, this evening I was as sick to my stomach as I’ve ever been.  

This afternoon, I got a craving for warm, soft tortellini smothered in a buttery sauce and topped with parmesan cheese.  Mmmmmm   Sounds good, right?  I thought so too.  I remembered that I’d picked up a box at the store last week so I planned on having that and cod filets for dinner.  So, my water’s doing a rolling boil and I snip open the package and pour my little noodles into the pot.  Hmm.  That’s weird, ’me thinks to meself’. I’ve never had tortellini that’s flavored with sesame seeds.  I check out the box again, thinking it was Chinese tortellini.   (I know that’s wrong on so many levels for so many reasons, but that’s what popped into my head.)  Nope it’s Italian.  So I resume watching Oprah on my little under the cabinet tv and just got that feeling that something wasn’t quite right.  That not-quite-right- feeling wouldn’t let me go, so I grabbed a spoon and started stirring it around in my stainless steel tortellini pot. 

BUGS.  Frickin’ BUGS.  Perhaps Discovery’s Survivorman or Bear Gylls would welcome this little added protein bonus.  I do not.  I think I may never eat tortellini again.  I’m still seeing it when I close my eyes.  I a ton of pictures and quick fired off a letter to the company.  Unfortunately, I didn’t follow that rule where you wait 30 minutes or so before acting so that you are operating with some semblance of ration, so I pity the poor mail clerk who opens my package.  I’m sending some of the noodles with embedded bugs.  I can’t get in trouble for that, can I?  At least they’ll feel my pain.